Priorities

I love to see people happy. I like helping others and get great satisfaction out of knowing that something I did helped another person. But caring for two babies at the same time by myself, I'm learning a lot. Namely, I can't please everyone at the same time.

My boys are usually good in allowing me to spend equal time with their brother. Normally, when one needs attention, the other is content to be near us and wait his turn. But there are, believe it or not, days when things don't go as smooth. If Ben is hungry, but Jack would rather have mommy play with him in that moment, then I must let Jack cry while I care for his brother. I am only one person. I can't do it all. When I try to appease both of their needs at the same time, I end up unsuccessful and ultimately, frustrate them both.

My priorities are God, my husband, my kids, my family and everyone else. I suppose there's a sort of hierarchy within the 'everyone else' group, but for the sake of my *short* entry, I'll stick with that generality for now. With everything I do, it is important that I check it against those priorities. I can't make everyone happy, but I can do what I can within my circle.

When I was breastfeeding in the hospital and people graciously came to visit us, we had to politely ask them to leave when my boys needed to eat; they are my priority. If something comes in the way of my boys and it's not God or my husband (which are higher 'ranking' people,) then something's got to change. And as much as I adore my sons, it is important that I remember that my husband comes first. That's why I make such an effort to make him dinners every night and create a home that he wants to come home to. This can be difficult when our babies take so much energy out of us on a daily basis, when they depend on us for every single one of their most basic needs. Believe me, my boys are LOVED. But Andy was my boyfriend before he was my children's father. Reminding eachother of that truth helps us get through the tough times. Because we're a team. And we need to stick together.

I still do what I can for others, but it is imperative that I remember where my priorities are. After all, it is impossible for me to do it all. Believe me. I've tried.