Having kids is a lot of work. It's a 24-hour job that requires every ounce of patience and wisdom someone can muster after sleeping only a few hours each night. It demands our very best, even when we're not in the mood or extremely frustrated. It is constantly requiring us to think selflessly and do whatever we can to keep everything going smoothly. It is exhausting, tiring work that makes us question if we are capable enough to handle it.
Now multiply all of that by two.
I knew twins would be a lot of work, but there's no real way to anticipate just how much more work one more baby would be. Now, my boys are phenomenal babies. I love them like crazy. In my eyes, they are the smartest, most cute, most lovable boys on the planet. I could not feel more blessed to have them in my life. But I guess I'm having one of those days where I question everything I know and wonder if I'm doing it right. Ever have one of those?
My issues started with naptime. You see, with twins, I have found sanity in keeping them on the same schedule. When they're both sleeping, mommy has a break. I can clean the bottles, express milk, start dinner, fold laundry and maybe even blog. :) But I could sense this becoming a problem today.
Jack was extremely tired, so I put him down for a nap. Ben, however, wanted to stay up and play. I changed his dirty diaper (second one so far today) and expected him to get tired shortly after that. I desperately needed at least 15 minutes to express milk. But he didn't show any signs of tiredness. I slowly watched my visions of being able to have that break slip away. Here's an insight into my brain, wondering and second-guessing myself as to the best course of action:
Should I wake Jack up to keep them on schedule? I don't know, he seemed pretty exhausted. Should I force Ben to go down? Eeeeh, I'm not looking for a headache. I've got to be productive today! Or should I just wait for Ben to get tired and hope that Jack stays asleep a bit longer? Ah man, I remember hearing that identical twins naturally have similar sleeping/eating patterns... just more proof that my boys are fraternal...
As it turned out, Ben did get tired about an hour later and (thankfully) Jack stayed asleep for a little longer, giving me enough time to express AND blog! Hooray! But these situations are not unusual for us moms.
It is rare that things go the way I had planned. Very rare. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's never happened. But do you know what? It always works out. Even if I hadn't been able to get a break today (which is also very common) it would have been alright. In the whole grand scheme of things, it's a good day. We're all healthy, we're safe. We have enough food to eat and clothes to wear. Our van is running and the roof holds out the water. My husband loves me and he's coming home in just a few hours. Thank God, we're doing alright.
I get a lot of strength knowing that God never gives us more than we can handle. And with twins, I'll take that as a compliment!
Gotta go... Jack's awake!
My girls are 20 months apart, but I SO know how you feel about the whole expectations nap thing! I go through the same thing every day when I try to get them both down at the same time for their afternoon nap...The conversation in my head is identical to yours...do I keep this one up? do I force this one down? most days it has worked out...not always, but most!
ReplyDeleteA mother of twins wrote in one of my twin books, "They say God never gives us more than we can handle....I say some days I think he's confused me with someone else!" Lol!
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