Today I went to my OB in order to obtain the results of my nuchal translucency test. And yes, I did have to Google that in order to get the correct spelling.
I've got to admit, I was nervous. This prenatal screening was taken to see if there were any chromosomal abnormalities in the baby, including Down Syndrome or any major congential heart problems.
We're 15 weeks along. I'm feeling a lot better, I'm eating well and have a pretty good amount of energy... well, you know, compared to the first trimester. But with the exception of a few flutters I thought I felt this past week and my growing baby bump, how am I supposed to know if everything is healthy? How am I supposed to know if everything is happening according to the "plan"? How do I know if the baby is getting everything he/she needs? I really don't.
On my way to the doctor, I was thinking about how I might handle the results to this test.
You know what I'm talking about. It's that sudden realization where you have to conceed the fact that ultimately, you are NOT in control. You have little say in how this little one came to be, grows and matures into the little person God designed them to be. And whether God meant for them to be a child with Down Syndrome or with a heart problem, whether it's a boy, or a girl, you've got to be okay with that.
Well, my OB said that our chances of this baby having Down Syndrome were slim to none and everything looks beautiful. We're looking forward to (hopefully) finding out the sex on November 3rd! I was thrilled. My dreams of Baby Sauer #3 growing into a healthy, gifted and productive man/woman seemed to be coming true. But I still had to catch myself. God is still in control. God has the final say. God knows what we can handle and what we need most.
It was another moment of motherhood where I felt extremely humble. Grateful. Small. God is allowing me to carry this little one for Him. It is His child. He is the Master Designer, the Creator, the Mastermind behind this beautiful being. And my job is to simply trust Him to complete the work He started.
Thank you, God, for entrusting this little one to my care. We have already been so blessed by this new life.