Better Perspective

I saw another mom with twins at the doctor's office today. She was a small girl with a tiny frame and her dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. Her girls were two months old, so tiny and so fragile. Their little arms and legs were scrunched toward their body and they were shivering against the cold of the doctor scale. She had her mother there with her, too, and looked overwhelmed and absolutely exhausted.

Then everything came back to me.

I remembered all of the sleepless nights, the frustration of not knowing how much milk they were consuming, the joy of seeing their faces for the first time. I wanted to assure her of the fact that she was doing a good job. That no matter how much she and her husband may (and WILL) doubt their abilities, they are the perfect parents for those two little girls. I wanted to convince her of the fact that there's no greater sacrifice than that of having children, even when that seems like a hefty price to pay in exchange for not being able to think straight because of the loss of sleep. That no matter how many diapers she changes within the first few months, there is no way to capture the feeling you get when your babies explode into laughter when their daddy comes through the door. The fact that I knew how it would feel like you're packing to go on vacation just for a trip to Grandma's. That a 10-minute shower now felt like a luxury. I wanted her to know that it's alright to NOT cook, clean your kitchen counters or give your babies breastmilk. I wanted to tell her not to compare her girls to other babies the same age. To enjoy each moment, but know that 'easier' days aren't too far away.

I looked at my two muchkins in my arms, now weighing about 19 pounds each. (Well, I was holding one but my mom was holding the other - they're way too big and curious to be carrying both!) They have grown so much in the past six months that they don't even seem like those same babies we took home from the hospital this past spring. They're smiling a lot, grabbing their feet and interested in the smallest things in the room. They are SO interactive and so enjoyable. I couldn't imagine my life now without them in it.

I wanted to say everything at once, but didn't. Instead, I just said, "Congratulations. It does get easier."

It's amazing how perspective changes things. Many people have given me adivce on twins - some welcomed and some unsolicited - but you never really *know* until you've gone through it. That new mom will do just fine. All she needs to know is that she's doing well... she'll get through it... and it does get easier. She did ask how long my boys were sleeping through the night now and was pleasantly surprised when I told her 8-9 hours. "And they're six months? Okay. I can do that."

Yes. You can.