One List I Refuse to Write

I make lists all the time. I looooove them. I make lists of things for me to get done each week, what we'll eat for dinner, what groceries to buy, people to call, emails to write, appointments to make, and gifts to prepare. I make lists of ideas for my blog, pictures to copy and CDs to burn. I've even been known to make lists of the lists I need to make!

But there is one list I refuse to write. A Honey Do List.

My husband is a hardworker. A good worker. And as I've mentioned many times before, he is constantly working to make life comfortable for me and the boys. That is why I don't want to burden him with one. More. Thing.

When there are things I do need for him to do for me, I give him longer than This Must Be Done Right Now. "Honey, would you mind bringing this bin up to the attic when you get a chance? No rush." And then he usually says, "Oh, no problem. I'll do it right now!" I usually add, "Oh, you don't have to do it now. If you could bring it up by Saturday when we have company, though, that would be great." I give him enough notice so he can decide when it's most convenient for him, rather than ME deciding for him. Then, most importantly, I cross that off my list. I don't ask him again. And believe me, he remembers.

One of the best gifts I can give to my husband is to know that home is a safe place. A warm place. A place where no one expects anything from him and his presence is celebrated. A place where he is respected and treated like a king. And for me, one way I can do that is to NOT create lists of projects for him to complete. (Nothing says "Welcome Home and Relax" quite like a long list of things to do!)

Our husbands like feeling like the hero. Our hero. So let's give them the flexibility to feel that they are doing these things because they want to help us. Not because they want us to stop nagging them.

I will continue to make lists because it helps me keep my life organized. But I'll be sure to keep those to-do lists for myself. My husband has enough on his plate.