Letting Him Help

This idea came from a friend in my MOPS group.

She suggested that we allow our husbands to spend time with our kids every so often. I know. Doesn't sound difficult to do, especially when there are so many things our husbands do for us! But she pointed out the fact that many women don't allow their husbands to help care for the kids so when they need help, the husbands don't know what to do! We need to let them practice.

Go grocery shopping for an hour or walk around the block. Meet a friend for coffee or visit with your mom. You are the mother, wife and primary caretaker and that comes with great responsibilities. Your kids and your husband rely on you for everything - the cleaning, the cooking, moral and emotional support - everything. But before you can take care of your family, you need to take care of yourself first.

Now, I'm not saying that you should neglect everything and leave because "Gosh, I need to take care of ME!" That is unhealthy. That attitude is the beginning of a downward spiral that will only lead you to frustration and feelings of entrapment. When you give yourself little moments to breathe, however, you are better able to take care of those you love most.

It's alright if the house is trashed when you return, or there is maple syrup on your rug. It's okay if your kids have junk food and spend the majority of the time wrestling or playing video games with dad. While these may not be typical "mommy" activities, they will not have a negative impact on their development as a stable human being. What's more important is that your husband is spending time with his kids, getting to know them, and building lasting memories... and YOU can get out of the house.

The other 'side' benefit my friend mentioned is the fact that your husband may come to really appreciate what you do everyday. Not only do you care for the kids, but you also manage the laundry, prepare dinner, help with homework and write out your Christmas cards ALL AT THE SAME TIME! That can only happen if he's allowed the chance to see life through your lens.

So don't be afraid to get out the house every so often. Your whole family will thank you for it (and you'll be glad you did!)