A State of Transition

I wasn't a mom for too long before I realized that my life was constantly going to be in a state of transition. That seems to be the only consistent thing in our lives of mommyhood - change.

Our most recent transition is occuring while we get ready for our new addition as well as help the boys transition to the next stage of boyhood... or manhood... I'm really not sure. Potty training.

I'm glad that I started researching how we wanted to handle this well before we started. Well, three weeks before. I've decided to try a program called "3 Day Potty Training" that a friend emailed me a few years back. I didn't put much thought into which 'program' I was going to use - this one was free and came recommended, so obviously I didn't have to look too far. As the name suggests, it's supposed to take three days, though she says to plan for longer if you're training multiples or if you're starting later than 22 months. Yeah. I'm a little nervous about each of those. Add that to the fact that I'm now in the third trimester and doing it by myself... yeah, I'm just not gonna think about that.

But the "Potty Training Queen" suggests that you begin at a time when you'll be home for a few consecutive days in a row. For me, that meant beginning on a Monday during a week that I didn't have MOPS, the only thing that I would 'need' to be at. Looking at my calendar, I pinned that date to be next Monday, January 23rd.

In order to prepare for the Day of Reckoning, I've had to change a few habits in order to prepare for new ones.

• First one was to ration how many more diapers I would have needed to buy before needing to "throw them all away" on Day One, as the program suggests. Okay. Don't stack up too much. And don't open any new boxes until you have to. Save the receipt so you can exchange it for Size 1 diapers for Baby Girl. Check.
• Second one was to begin watching how much liquid I let my boys have before sleeptimes. This has been a tough one. My boys, especially Ben, would so much rather drink his calories than eat them lately. During the past two weeks, I've been trying to be more quick about offering the boys more food options and then limiting them to just "one cup" of milk at each meal. During the past few days, I haven't even been filling it up the whole way. And we're doing pretty well! The boys are eating more and drinking less. We have fewer reeeeeeally wet diapers and more calories consumed from food, not drinks. We're still moving forward, but check.
• Third one was to start stacking up on supplies. I bought dozens of new pairs of underwear, convered in characters such as Mr. Incredible, Nemo, Lightning McQueen, Thomas the Train and Mickey Mouse; if these new digs don't thrill them, I don't know what will. I also started looking at lots of drinks - juices and flavored waters - to give them during the first few days of potty training so they have to go consistently during the day. I bought LOTS of fun prizes to use as incentives when I'm really proud of something they did. I'll start with M&Ms, but sometimes, you need something better. Check.
• With new prizes coming in for potty training, I had to wein the prizes for staying in their cribs all night. It's been a month that they've been back to their fantastic sleep routines, so it was time to take down the rewards anyway. This is the fourth transition. On Friday, I told them that if they stayed in their cribs, their prize would be a sticker. They were a little unsure at first, but they have done quite well picking out their one sticker when they wake up. We put it on their rules poster and so it's proudly displayed in their room. Now I can save the prizes for the poop! Check.
• The fifth part was moving the boys' portable toilets to the bathroom so they get used to going in there to relieve themselves, rather than their bedroom, which is where we had been keeping them. I had to move the towels into the hallway in order to make room in our tiny powder room, but still, transition accomplished. Check.
• The last part of this transition (so far) comes in our language. The program suggests that we start talking about the boys' dirty diapers as "yucky," "stinky" and "P-U!" but in a serious way. We're supposed to reinforce the idea of having a clean bottom and getting rid of our feces in the toilet. I've been impressed by how much they've caught on to this idea. Check.

Ya see? Always in a state of transition. I haven't even officially begun the training and already, I've done a TON!

Another transition we've been working through is getting the boys ready for Baby Girl's arrival. I'm home with them all day and so obviously, they rely on me a great deal. They find a lot of comfort in holding Mommy's hand, having Mommy carry them, put on their jacket and give them their juice. But the problem has been that lately, they won't let Daddy do anything to help them. Whenever Andy tries to help me do ANYTHING for them, his efforts are blocked by a quick, "No, Mommy do it!" We've appeased them for a few weeks, but I'm getting to the point where I will be physically unable to meet each of every one of their demands. And Andy is getting more and more frustrated, not knowing how to support me.

Two of our biggest challenges are getting them into their carseats (where only Mommy can buckle them in) and bathroom (where only Mommy can put their jammies on after baths.) Traditionally, these were activities we both shared. We struggled, not knowing how to handle this new power struggle. Then the other night, Andy seemed to have an epiphany.

"Let's just tell them ahead of time. We will explain that we'll take turns. I'll change Ben tonight, but then Mommy can change him tomorrow." He was right. What a difference that made today! I shouldn't be surprised. We've used this same technique in the past with difficult situations and the boys always seemed to do well. Again, I shouldn't be surprised. My boys don't like surprises. They like to know what's coming so they can prepare for it. Know what's expected of them. Sound familiar? I just spent this whole post talking about how we're planning ahead of things in the future!!

I guess the apples don't fall far from the tree.