1.06.2012

Our Sleeping Experience Explained

It's been a month. A busy month. I thought it was time to update about how my boys are sleeping.

Long story short: they are sleeping! On. Their. Own.
The first day of sleep training went pretty well. Jack got out about 30 times through the night (mostly at the beginning of the evening) and Ben less than ten. The next night was horrible. We lost track of how many times Ben got out, but it was probably around 80 times, between bedtime and wakeup. Andy said his back was sore from all of the lifting - can you imagine if it were me doing it? (Thanks, babe!) The next night was a little better, about a dozen times. The next night, just a few. After that, it was smooth sailing. Well, mostly. They've had a few hiccups - tests - to see if the same rules still applied. The first 'test' was a week after we had everything established and the most recent 'test' was this afternoon. Every time I put the boys down, I anticipate a fight. And what a blessing, that it's gone so well.

Here are some things I've learned throughout this process:
  • My boys actually LIKE to sleep. In their cribs. I can tell when they start to get sleepy and I'm always surprised when they say, "Mommy, crib."
  • I had to adjust my entire day's schedule to better accomodate their bodies. We now wake up earlier, take naps earlier and go to bed earlier. I had no idea that my lazy habits were getting in the way of their sleep. Our day now starts at 7am (whereas I used to wish they'd sleep in until 7:30, 8 or 8:30am, then get frustrated when they'd wake up sooner!) and naps end at 3pm. I don't let them sleep as long for naps as I used to either. That means that bedtime must be 8pm and naps by 12:30pm, the latest. We're still fine-tuning things, but we're looking a lot better.
  • The boys look at the posters we decorated on their walls with the five sleep rules and they repeat them almost every time they lay down... although they're not the five listed. "Mommy, no dumping (jumping,) no saw-saults (somersaults,) no talking and wait music on." It really is sweet. They definitely understand the concept. Each time they lay down, I set the alarm to wake them to music. In the morning, Andy and I can hear the boys exclain, "Mommy, Daddy, wake up! Music on!" And then the next word out of their mouth is "I get prize?" Sometimes they don't even ask for one, so I don't offer it.
  • The boys LOVE the prizes. I had gone to the Dollar Tree and stocked up on tons of party bags with small toys, balls, animals, as well as stickers and pennies. It doesn't matter what it is. As long as it's WRAPPED. That's been the key. At least for my men. They love the mystery of the prize. And I think it's funny that they've actually come to take the smallest prize they can find, not the biggest. I keep their prize box in their room where they can see it, but not reach it. That seems to be very motivating, especially when we didn't earn a prize for not following the rules.
  • Another added bonus has come from the freedom of NOT having to buy two of everything just to appease my twins. I started doing that and had a prize box for each boy, just so they wouldn't get doubles. But then I started getting lazy and put their prizes together or I'd buy just one of something small, rather than two. They rarely opened the same prize every time, so I realized they really didn't care. Even if they did happen to open a double of something, they were just as thrilled. I felt like this was a personal breakthrough for me, as a mother of multiples. They love sharing their treasures with their brother, something I hope continues as they get older!
  • I also realized that I didn't have to spend a lot of money on the prizes. I wrapped many prizes that contained five pennies. They were thrilled to count their "monies" and put them in their pockets. Only a few of the prizes were a whole dollar. Another favorite was a balloon - which came in a pack of twenty-five for one dollar!
  • Andy has asked for how long we should be supplying them with prizes for following the rules. It's been about a month now and when they're following the rules, they get two prizes a day. Each. I'm hoping that they'll continue to lose interest in the prizes and I'll help by making the prizes smaller and less exciting. But my response to him: "How much is a good night's sleep worth to you?" :)
So that's where we are. I'd be lying if I said that this is a perfect system and that we never have a problem. That is soooo not true. But it is so much better than it was. The boys don't fuss when it's time to go to sleep; they ask for it. And they say "Night, Mommy! Love you!" when I put them down rather than pulling at my shirt and screaming. But we still struggle with them playing in their cribs when they should be sleeping or calling me in the room to change their (poopy diaper) just a few minutes after they're down. Many times, these behaviors happen when I put them down too late and they're overtired. Still, we're doing well! And mommy gets to take a nap every day as well. And that's good for Baby, too!

Andy and I have also been enjoying the extra time at night. We're able to talk again. Plan. Make lunches for the next day. Prep dinners. Do the dishes. Watch movies. Eat popcorn. Fold laundry. Work on our taxes. It's given us an area of flexibility and relaxation we lost for a long time. And I wouldn't trade it for the world! Or perhaps I would in less than three months when we bring our newborn home...

As with most things in parenting, our journey is not finished. Even as we continue to change our sleep habits as our boys grow, our next big adventure will be potty training. I just started reading about what our plan of attack might be and will start gathering supplies and changing behaviors within the next few weeks so we can do it within the month.

It's always something, right?

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