A Back-Up Plan is Still a Plan

My whole life, I've had a plan. I like having a plan. It makes my life less stressful when I know where I'm headed.

Now, just because I have a plan doesn't mean that things always go according to that plan. They rarely do, actually. I thought I'd meet Mr. Right in college, date for a few years, get married after we graduate, get a job teaching 2nd grade in my alma mater, live in the country, stay home with my kids and live happily ever after. Instead, God didn't introduce me to Andy until I had been teaching 6th grade for three years and now we live in the city with twins. Things turned out very different than I had imagined. But that's because I couldn't have imagined them to be this good! It's only because of God's goodness that I'm able to *try* and be open to changes in my plan because I know that ultimately, God's plan is better.

The past few weeks have been really difficult for this mommy, though, because we didn't seem to have a plan. Well, we did have a plan - to find a house - but that plan had an expiration date. If we failed in our mission before August 31st, we were being thrown into the streets. Or at least one of our parent's houses. Or finding an apartment somewhere and renting month-by-month. Somehow, this Plan With an Expiration Date didn't inspire too much confidence. I've been discouraged and listless. What's the point in packing up your stuff if you don't know where you're going to be? What's the point in organizing your stuff if you don't know what you're going to need? In fact, what's the point in preparing dinner? Or washing the dishes every night? Or doing laundry regularly? It just didn't seem important to do all of the mundane responsibilities of the house on any kind of schedule if I didn't know where we were going to be. Instead, it somehow felt better to just live in the moment and fly by the seat of my pants. Again, not a very comfortable place for this former teacher and perfectionist.

This is an immature way to live, I know. But my whole body wanted to shut down because of this horrible Plan With an Expiration Date.

Finally, we had to get serious. If a good house didn't come on the market before our deadline, we needed somewhere to stay. And wouldn't you know? God provided. If we don't find something we like before August 31st, we're going to stay with my Great Aunt Mary and Great Uncle Ron. Remember them? I wrote about them in this post. They live about 6 blocks from our house, in the upper apartment of my late great-grandmother's house. Their lower apartment was left vacant after my Great Aunt Connie died last year. Rather than go through the hassle of finding and managing tenants as well as making the necessary updates, they decided to leave it vacant to preserve their privacy. When we approached them about the possibility of using that apartment as a back-up, they couldn't even contain their excitement and wanted us to move in the next day. What an answer to prayer! We're going to pay them rent (including utilities) and my husband is going to fix it up a bit before our arrival, which will also be a blessing to them. It has three bedrooms, a bathroom and a larger family area than we have in our apartment. We're already familiar with the area AND family will be right up stairs. And the biggest blessing is that we'll be able to stay for as long as we need to - with no lease, no contingency, no strings attached - until we find our home.

We're still going to continue actively searching for our next house, but now I don't need to be stressed about the "what ifs" in our plan. We've got a plan now... and a Back-Up Plan. I can refocus and continue on the path forward. For the first time in weeks, I cut coupons, planned a weekly menu based on those coupons and have been preparing dinner during the boys' naps again. I just cleaned my kitchen and dining room and for the first time in a month, you can see my kitchen counters.

It feels good to have a plan. Or rather, a Back-Up Plan. Because as it turns out, a Back-Up Plan is still a Plan.