A Sense of Personal Responsibility

As I've said before, I'm trying to organize.

In a two-bedroom apartment, space is limited. We work with the space we have, but it feels like the boys keep pushing back the boundaries. They're getting too big and too curious to stay within such a small area!

Ever since they started crawling, I had a gate to separate their bedroom and the kitchen from their playarea (which used to be our dining and living rooms.) When they started requiring more space, I would open the kitchen gate in the afternoon. It may sound silly, but it helped break up the day.

A few weeks ago, the boys started to climb the gates and could easily get over them. Frustrated, I started putting two gates on top of eachother. I've been afraid that if I let them play in their bedroom, they would start climbing their cribs and then I'd be forced to go to Plan B whether it be crib nets or toddler beds. I also hated the thought of them pulling their dresser drawers open and throwing their clean clothes throughout the room. But when they started pushing their highchairs over to the double gate and climbing in order to get over the big barrier, I knew I had to adjust. Again.

What is it about having kids that never allows you to stay in the same place for too long? My life has been in a constant transition since the boys have been born!

So I worked on clearing out their bedroom of all clutter and moved their dresser into my bedroom. The only things left in there were their cribs and a big shelf we had been using for toys, sheets, shoes, etc. I put the sheets and socks in bins at the top, but the rest of the organizer is full of toys.

 Ben and Jack enjoy their new space together

You'll notice there is only one little bin out on the floor. Ever since the boys were about a year old, I've worked with them on cleaning up after themselves. I put similar toys in a small canvas tote (I got these orange ones on clearance at Target a few months ago and the white canvas ones at Target as well) or in a big Ziploc bag. We like the Ziploc or Hefty bags with sliders because the boys can manipulate them back and forth by themselves. We play with one set of toys at a time. When they want to play with another one, I say, "Do you want to play with the blocks? Okay, let's clean up these toys first." They understand what they have to do: put all of those toys back in the tote so mommy can get more. When they have something to look forward to, they have no problem putting the others away!

Please don't think this works perfectly. It doesn't. But this is what we've been working toward. I remember reading that at this age, we should expect about 60% obedience. That was encouraging to hear. There are times when no matter how much coaxing or bribing I try, they are just NOT going to comply. So I give up. I clean it up myself and move on. We don't need perfection, but progress. I'm constantly amazed at what my little ones are capable of. I still push the toys toward the bin and help them put the smallest ones away. I refuse to just sit back and bark orders; we work together. I don't want to discourage them by the vastness of their project so I help get them going.

One of the white canvas totes houses some of our books, about 1/3 of our collection, that I keep rotating with others in the living room. They seem to appreciate them more when they don't see the same ones as often.

Notice that towel on the door? That's to keep them from closing the doors on eachother's hands. It's a very low-budget safety lock that has saved many fingers in this house ;)

Each white canvas tote is filled with 2-4 Ziplock bags of toys. The Little People have their own bag. McDonald's happy meal toys have another. We don't have many Thomas trains or tracks yet, so they fit into another bag. Our Mr. Potato Heads and accessories are in a large Hefty bag. Small trucks and cars have another bag. Our MegaBlocks are in a larger white tote because we have so many.

I've learned that the boys like having things in categories. It's much more easy to identify which toys belong together when they constantly see them together. If we are playing with the blocks and Jonathan finds a loose train from the Thomas set, he'll bring it over to me saying, "Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh." He knows that it doesn't belong and will not rest until it's home with its other train friends. I love it.

Gosh, what kind of obsessive compulsive tendencies am I encouraging? ;)

There are many toys that do not go into bags. Large toys and riding toys will obviously be out in the play area most of the time (I will switch them with other large toys in the attic to keep the boys interested and lessen the amount of clutter in my house.) But we also have a large toy bin in the living room that houses many of the smaller large toys they play with all the time... balls, stuffed animals, hats, backpacks, cell phones, etc. These toys always clutter my house and it's rare that I'll make them clean them up. But they know how. Sometimes I'll rally them to clean those up before bathtime, but it's more common for me to clean them up while Andy's giving them a bath. That way, those toys will be put away where I want them. I know, I'm nuts like that. It's the toys that are in the bags that I am adament about cleaning up.

This is not a perfect system. It's only been four days since opening their bedroom up to them and I've already had to make some changes. There've been many times where we've got multiple bags open at once and they refuse to help put them away. It's not that big of a deal. I do it myself and start again. The trouble with my system is that it requires me to initiate them in the process. This kind of thing does not come naturally, it must be taught. I have to be with them, encourage them, praise when they do it correctly, and put the bin away before reaching for another. It's exhausting. It really is. But I'm doing it for a reason.

I want my boys to have a sense of personal responsibility. I want them to be grateful for what they have and to take care of the possessions we've been blessed with. I want them to appreciate the work that goes into caring for their things and understand how much easier things are when you do them in smaller steps along the way.

Growing up, my dad always said you should leave things better than how you found it. Even if you weren't the one to make the mess. That's why he would pick up garbage on his nightly walks and if he saw a gum wrapper on the floor at church, he'd pick it up and throw it away. It's not about being a neat freak. Trust me. Most times, it feels like my house IS the garbage dump. But it's about making an effort to leave a good impression. Being a good influence. Doing your part to see that you're being a good witness for the gospel. Striving to be a good reflection of Christ.

And so for me, that involves canvas totes and Ziploc bags. And teaching my little men the value of a little hard work.