Dose of Perspective

I had a wonderful dose of perspective today.

Andy was working late so I had planned to put the boys down on my own. I've only done it 100% by myself two other times before, but I knew it would be fine. It's taken quite a bit to get us to this point, but we've definitely come a long way. I had organized to go to my friend's house at 4pm and bring her dinner so we'd be home in time to start the routine.

During the boys' nap, I took a full-blown shower (which was wonderful, by the way) and prepared our dinner as well as a dinner for my friend. I got some stuff together for her and then loaded it all up in the van before sitting down at the computer to put ads up for my husband's rental properties. When the boys woke up from their nap, I fed them lunch, got them dressed and we headed to my friend's. Not bad. Not bad at all!

We got to her house a little late because I couldn't find it at first - I could quite possibly be the most dysfunctional person when it comes to directions - but I eventually did, thanks to her father-in-law who came out to flag me down.

He handled all of the bags and the meal, which was helpful because that meant I could take the boys in a single trip. One in each arm. He commented on how talented I was balancing one on my knee as I unstrapped the other from his carseat. Funny, I don't even think about it anymore. I tilted them to one side to close the door and then get the keys out of my pocket to lock the door before settling them back on my hip and walk inside.

Oh, and did I mention my friend just had twins? Twin boys. They're two weeks old!! So so beautiful. I wish I could say that I took a million pictures, but they were sleeping. I just didn't have the heart to surprise them with all of those flashes. Yet.

We talked for a while and the boys played with the coloring books and Goldfish I brought. Actually, they played with her father-in-law. Not quite sure who had more fun... :) But it was a wonderful visit. We talked about night feedings, adjusting to two babies at once and the flood of emotions. We talked about sleep schedules and weight gain. How I tell the boys apart and if they were similar at birth. I loved sharing some of our experience and tried to encourage her along her journey. I really hope I didn't overwhelm her with information. I didn't want to stay too long since the boys were sleeping - her time to do whatever she wanted!

As I got back into my van with my two toddlers in tow, a million memories flooded my mind. I remembered how small the boys were and wondering when things would feel normal again. The nights that never seemed to end and praying for daylight just so there was more activity on Facebook and people to talk to! Admitting to my husband that perhaps our idea of a larger family was just not possible. Not leaving the house for a year simply because the very idea of doing it on your own (and having to pump every three hours) was too overwhelming. Wondering if you really were capable enough for this - such a huge task.

She asked if I missed that stage. I thought for a moment and admitted, "Nope."

It's not that I didn't try and enjoy it as I was going through it. I did. I tried to hold onto those moments where I marveled at their teeny fingers and how it felt like their eyes could see right through me. Getting by on such little sleep and having NO idea if you're doing anything right. Thankfully, I took pictures to help me remember that time because it was such a blur!

Wow, I thought. We've come so far.

My boys hold their own sippy cup. No more bottles for us! They can soothe themselves to sleep at naptime and at bedtime. They sleep for 11 hours at night and take a 2-3 hour nap. They laugh, giggle, clap, give kisses, hugs and experiment with words. I can - and do - go places by myself and work on projects while they sleep. I'm cooking new meals and making them for others!

Wow. We've come so far.

So tonight I am filled with gratitude and humility. God has brought us through. Just as He promised. We have not yet arrived at the Promised Land. We still need to navigate our way through the unknown territory of the terrible twos, potty-training, the sharing concept (and that's even before we hit school, girlfriends and driving!)

We have so much to look forward to.