My Rollercoaster Ride

Do you ever just have "one of those days"? Everything is going well and then... erkk... something happens that jerks you in your tracks. I had one of those yesterday.

My boys just began sleeping 8-9 hours a night and I was feeling on top of the world. Wow, I thought, what a great mom I am. I've got this all figured out. Twins are easy! (What do they say? Pride comes before a fall?) Then the boys started to get really good at rolling over. That's when my headache started.

I'm ecstatic that they've learned this new skill, but this now means they will wake up during a nap or in the middle of the night because they turned and don't know how to flip back. I wish I could go in every time to turn them over, but at the good advice of others and for the sake of my own sanity, I'm trying to teach them to get used to their new position. This means crying. A lot of crying.

I don't let them scream for a long time, but I do want them to be able to eventually soothe themselves. Ten minutes of two babies simultaneously crying a few times a day, though, and I'm feeling nutty. I can't even think straight. My husband came home from work and I said, "Would you mind if I laid down a bit?" I went in our room, popped two Advil, closed the door and came out twenty minutes later feeling a little more refreshed. Just another day.

Motherhood is such a rollercoaster ride. One moment you're on top of the world and the next minute you're on the verge of ripping your hair out. I guess it's helpful to know that kind of up-and-down thinking is completely normal. I'm not insane. I'm not a bad mom. This is how it is. Teaching two little ones how to survive and navigate in this world takes a lot of energy and it doesn't end when they go to sleep. Being a mom is a 24 hour job. It's overwhelming, exciting, fulfilling, frustrating and enjoyable all at the same time.

I'm going to try and remember days like this when I start to feel a little too confident about how well I'm doing. I think the Lord uses these days to teach US to rely on Him. There is no one more capable.