Oooh, I have so much I want to do.
Why is it, that I think of so many things I want to do when I have the least amount of energy to do them?
I finished a big craft project for my Mothers of Preschoolers group this week. Like, huge. As in "use every free minute during the day and stay up until 1am for two solid weeks" kinda project. For the last few days there, I wasn't even cleaning my house. And let me tell you, dishes pile up pretty quickly over here. So when it was done, I was exhausted. Relieved, but exhausted. That's when I started making my wish list of projects.
You know what that means, Super Moms. The list of projects you want to do after you've made dinner, thrown a few loads of laundry in and fed your starving children. I like to think of it as extra credit.
First up, was my bedroom. I desperately want our bedroom to be a calming place. No paperwork on the dressers, no clothes on the floor, blankets on our bed, just a place to relax. But our room has never been that way since we moved in eight months ago. It's pretty embarrassing, actually. And after I finished that, I wanted to work on the dining room table. You know, the one that has been housing the craft supplies from my big project! Then it was the basement. Oooh, the basement. If the rest of my house is clean, it's only because I've stashed everything down there.
I was ONE day away from feeling like my room was almost clean and Megan got sick. Just a cold, but sick, nonetheless. So not only was I recovering from MY lack of sleep, but now I was caring for an adorable, snotty baby who just wanted to be held. All night. So that turned Mommy into a warm pillow with a backache. The couch was our makeshift bed for a few nights while she benefitted from the sleeping-in-the-upright-position sleep. And I just... well... you don't really sleep very well with an infant on your chest. Especially one that cried whenever she tried to nurse because she couldn't breathe.
I'm getting a book delivered tomorrow called "No Cry Sleep Solution." I'll give you one guess as to what I'm struggling with to need a book like that.
Normally, nighttime is my work time. I get so much done in the evening after all of the kids are asleep. But tonight, I can barely keep my eyes open. My throat is sore, my voice is barely there and my whole body aches. Andy worked late tonight and I did the bedtime routine on my own. And it was a really rough afternoon. I love my kids like crazy, but I am so over this whole screaming/tantrum/whining stage. It's good to see their angelic faces fast asleep in order to reaffirm my love for them. This. Mommy. Is. Exhausted.
My dining room can wait. My bedroom can wait. The basement can definitely wait. I'm not going to think about the fact that there are eight puzzles thrown all around my family room, puzzles that I was too lazy to make the boys put away. I'm not going to think about the possibility that I'll be up with my ten-month old again tonight. I'm not going to stress about how I will EVER get her to sleep through the night until after I've had a few minutes to peruse the book that hasn't even been delivered yet.
For now, I'm going to lay down in bed. Close my eyes. And hope sleep finds me soon.
I have so much I want to do. But for now, sleeping is my best option.