Being a Friend

This post was written by my co-author, my dad:

 

A husband works and plays to an audience of one: his wife. An older friend recently told me about a secret she had discovered about men. After her elderly husband had finished working on the outside of the house all day, she wisely asked if he would be willing to show her what he had done.

 

Admittedly, she had to pretend to be interested at first, but her interest grew as she saw her husband begin to blossom with enthusiasm and appreciation for the attention he was receiving from his wife. You can’t imagine how encouraging something like this is to a husband. Really.

 

Just for a moment, imagine a husband writing this letter to his wife:

I need you to be my friend and companion, even my buddy. During courtship you could hardly wait to be with me because you liked me. Please be more friendly toward me in the home. I feel that you scold me. I need a lover not a mother. I want you to see me as your ally, not your enemy. I like it when you want to be by my side. I like it when you want to be with me just because. I like it when you want to watch me do something without critique.

 

I want you to be with me at times without talking. I want you to like me not just love me. I want to be close to you; shoulder to shoulder. I like being alone in solitude but knowing that you are in the next room. Please don’t view me as the tin man who has no heart. Don’t pass judgment on the quality of my friendships because I don’t relate to my guy friends in the same way you relate to your girl friends. I would (be willing to) die for some of my buddies. Would you die for your girl friends? When we greet one another in the evening, could you do so positively? Can you hold off the complaints of the day? And when I leave in the mornings, would you express something positive to me? I married you because I needed your positive companionship. I want you to be my friend.

 

All this creates such deep feelings in my heart for you.*

Be a friend.

 

*Excerpt from Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerich