Ooh, the adventures of parenting toddlers. Just when you think you know what you're doing... BAMB... something happens to remind you how little you really know.
Sleeping - or rather, going to sleep - has been our biggest issue lately.
It didn't used to be. Well, you know, after we finally figured out a plan that worked in getting them to finally start sleeping through the night. We had to adjust our plan when the boys were sick, when we had a family getogether, when we transitioned from two naps to just one, but overall, things have been going really really well.
A month ago, however, things changed. It was as if the boys just discovered that their partner in crime was only five feet from their crib and they had a license to entertain them. They'd jump, throw out their blankets, do somersaults, stand on their hand, make crazy noises, scream, yell to each other... it was insane. "What did I do wrong?" I wondered. Perhaps the change came because of our move into the new apartment. But this began more than a month after. Were they sensing me to be too soft? Probably. It was around this same time that we learned we were pregnant and so I had been increasingly exhausted. I just didn't have the energy to follow through on much of anything. I was just trying to maintain status quo!
My husband and I talked relentlessly about what we should do. We tried various tactics, but were only met with short success. Should we just concede defeat? Separate them into two bedrooms and let them cry themselves to sleep? We did have an additional bedroom in our new apartment, but we wanted to make that into the nursery. What should we do? This mommy needed sleep (and my boys were monsters without theirs as well!)
We knew a lot of this was developmental. The boys have been trying to assert their independence in other areas of their life - perhaps this was just an extension of that. So my husband decided to talk to the boys. They're only two and a half, you say, how much would they even understand? True, I wouldn't have thought this technique to be as effective as it turned out to be. But as we were reading books as part of our regular nightly routine, Andy told the boys what was coming next. "We're going to read books, sing some songs, pray, and then we're going to bed. When you're in your crib, there is no jumping." He repeated this same concept a few times during our routine and then again as we were walking them to their cribs. "No jumping," Ben repeated. Hmm, they understood.
That night, the jumping seemed to have stopped. They still would yell each other's name, say, "Mommy, where are yewww?" and make noises, but no more jumping. This seemed to make sense: my boys always have liked to know what was coming. They want to know the expectations (even if they choose not to follow them.) They're not a fan of surprises.
Andy continued doing this same thing for the next few nights until the jumping stopped completely. Then we noticed they were doing a crazy amount of somersaults and standing on their heads. So last night, he added something else to our bedtime routine. "When you go into your cribs, there's..." (Boys interrupted to say, "No jumping.") "Yes, that's right. No jumping. And there are no somersaults."
I've been repeating this same technique at naptime, too, trying to stay consistent. And they've been responding! Today when I put them down, Jack said, "No dumping. No saw-salts. Mommy 'appy!" (Translation: "No jumping. No somersaults. Mommy happy!") Yeah, I'd say they're getting the message.
Last night was wonderful. Tonight was wonderful. Both nights, they layed down without a problem and didn't make any noises. It took us a while to get here, but I'd say progress is happening!!
Throughout the past two and a half years, I've learned that there's nothing more humbling than attempting to raise your own children. No other job in the world reminds you just how much (and how little) control you have over certain things in life. We've had our share of successes and our share of failures, all of which have been humbling. But we're learning. And I believe we're getting better. At least until the next kid comes and reminds us how little we know!
I should also mention that the boys decided against a nap this afternoon. Don't think we're 100% fixed. But I'm going to blame this afternoon on two dirty diapers and a mommy who was more interested in editing and uploading photos than going in to see why they were both still awake. Ya see? Humbling. But still, we're moving in the right direction!
