An Unattractive Greeting

I met another mom of twins this morning.

We were at a playgroup at a public entertainment center. My mom had noticed her little two-some first and then pointed out her twin grandsons. I turned just as she was pointing me out as the mom. Her boys seemed to be a little older than mine. She glared at me with a look that said, "YOU! You stole the last brownie!" Except she didn't say that. Instead, she said, "It gets worse."

Um, hello. Nice to meet you...

Really? That's what you say? "It gets worse." What kind of a greeting is that?

I mean, I know what she's saying. I know I haven't even hit the top of the iceberg as far as challenges go. But trust me, we've come a long way. I know it was difficult. I know it will continue to be challenging. But aren't you supposed to encourage other young moms in their adventures? Moms of twins or mothers in general?

So I made myself a promise. When I meet other young moms with babies - whether it's one or three - I'm going to smile and say, "Wow, that's great! What a blessing!" They all know it's challenging. They all know it will be difficult. They don't need to hear "It's gonna get worse." They need to know they've been blessed and they'll get through.

Just thought you should know.

Dose of Perspective

I had a wonderful dose of perspective today.

Andy was working late so I had planned to put the boys down on my own. I've only done it 100% by myself two other times before, but I knew it would be fine. It's taken quite a bit to get us to this point, but we've definitely come a long way. I had organized to go to my friend's house at 4pm and bring her dinner so we'd be home in time to start the routine.

During the boys' nap, I took a full-blown shower (which was wonderful, by the way) and prepared our dinner as well as a dinner for my friend. I got some stuff together for her and then loaded it all up in the van before sitting down at the computer to put ads up for my husband's rental properties. When the boys woke up from their nap, I fed them lunch, got them dressed and we headed to my friend's. Not bad. Not bad at all!

We got to her house a little late because I couldn't find it at first - I could quite possibly be the most dysfunctional person when it comes to directions - but I eventually did, thanks to her father-in-law who came out to flag me down.

He handled all of the bags and the meal, which was helpful because that meant I could take the boys in a single trip. One in each arm. He commented on how talented I was balancing one on my knee as I unstrapped the other from his carseat. Funny, I don't even think about it anymore. I tilted them to one side to close the door and then get the keys out of my pocket to lock the door before settling them back on my hip and walk inside.

Oh, and did I mention my friend just had twins? Twin boys. They're two weeks old!! So so beautiful. I wish I could say that I took a million pictures, but they were sleeping. I just didn't have the heart to surprise them with all of those flashes. Yet.

We talked for a while and the boys played with the coloring books and Goldfish I brought. Actually, they played with her father-in-law. Not quite sure who had more fun... :) But it was a wonderful visit. We talked about night feedings, adjusting to two babies at once and the flood of emotions. We talked about sleep schedules and weight gain. How I tell the boys apart and if they were similar at birth. I loved sharing some of our experience and tried to encourage her along her journey. I really hope I didn't overwhelm her with information. I didn't want to stay too long since the boys were sleeping - her time to do whatever she wanted!

As I got back into my van with my two toddlers in tow, a million memories flooded my mind. I remembered how small the boys were and wondering when things would feel normal again. The nights that never seemed to end and praying for daylight just so there was more activity on Facebook and people to talk to! Admitting to my husband that perhaps our idea of a larger family was just not possible. Not leaving the house for a year simply because the very idea of doing it on your own (and having to pump every three hours) was too overwhelming. Wondering if you really were capable enough for this - such a huge task.

She asked if I missed that stage. I thought for a moment and admitted, "Nope."

It's not that I didn't try and enjoy it as I was going through it. I did. I tried to hold onto those moments where I marveled at their teeny fingers and how it felt like their eyes could see right through me. Getting by on such little sleep and having NO idea if you're doing anything right. Thankfully, I took pictures to help me remember that time because it was such a blur!

Wow, I thought. We've come so far.

My boys hold their own sippy cup. No more bottles for us! They can soothe themselves to sleep at naptime and at bedtime. They sleep for 11 hours at night and take a 2-3 hour nap. They laugh, giggle, clap, give kisses, hugs and experiment with words. I can - and do - go places by myself and work on projects while they sleep. I'm cooking new meals and making them for others!

Wow. We've come so far.

So tonight I am filled with gratitude and humility. God has brought us through. Just as He promised. We have not yet arrived at the Promised Land. We still need to navigate our way through the unknown territory of the terrible twos, potty-training, the sharing concept (and that's even before we hit school, girlfriends and driving!)

We have so much to look forward to.

A Place of Comfort

"Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave."

Martin Luther (1483-1546)

I came across this quote the other day and it has both challenged and encouraged me. What do I do - on a daily basis - to know that my husband is welcome in our home? That is a safe place for him to return to? After some of the days I have with my boys, I feel like my home is anything but tranquil.

Why does it seem like I was such a better housekeeper before I had kids?

It seems like no matter how much straighten up I do before 5:45pm, I've got at least one box of wipes spilled on the floor, the MegaBlocks thrown all over the dining room and dishes piled a mile high in the sink. (All of this while I'm watching Ben push his Little Tikes table over toward his high chair so he can climb onto the window shades. Aye.)

I can't do it all. Trust me. I've tried. I just can't.

I was talking to my friend the other day and mentioned my dilemma. She said that she had had the same frustration. With four kids, she just couldn't create a wonderful world of cleanliness to greet her husband every day. Rather than giving up entirely, she asked her husband what ONE thing he would be happiest to see. What ONE area/section of the house he'd like to have cleaned so when he walks in the door, he can feel relaxed. For her husband, it was the dishes in the sink. "Alright, I can do that," she said. Every day before he comes home, she makes sure that there are no dirty dishes in the sink. And he likes that!

So I asked Andy. And do you know what he said? The counter. But not the entire counter, just the area less than 2'x2' just next to the door. Really? That's it? I can do that. It's only been four days and I am proud to say that that little area has stayed clean. (At least when Andy arrives home ;) I couldn't believe how much stuff I tried piling on that tiny little area during the day! Andy has noticed the fact that this small piece of counter has stayed clean and almost everyday, he thanks me for making the effort.

What do you do to create a house where your husband hates to leave and just can't wait to come home to? Even if your house looks like a small tornado made its rounds, be sure to greet him with a smile and a hug. Let him know you're glad to see him. And wait at least fifteen minutes for him to de-stress before you go into the drama of your day. Do ONE thing at a time. And trust me, he will notice. And YOU will be the one that is blessed!

A Time for Everything

One girl sits during her lunch break, dreaming of her prince charming.

Another plays with Barbies in the dollhouse made by her grandpa.

One gets a manicure and then meets her friends for lunch and shopping.

One watches television while she counts her unborn baby's heartrate.

Another takes a quick nap before her last prenatal appointment.

Another holds her precious newborn in her arms and stares at her perfect features.

Another wakes up at 3am to the sound of her baby's cries and comforts him with her touch.

Another throws her arms up in desperation, counting down the hours until bedtime.

Another woman drops her kids off at Grandma's so she can get a pedicure. Her first one in ten years.

Another woman attends her son's high school orientation.

Another woman watches her husband walk their little girl down the aisle.

One woman plays with her grandson and his blocks, glad to give her daughter a break.

Another woman listens to the silence of her house, anxious for her grandchildren's arrival.

And yet another woman watches The Daily Show and plans her day of cleaning and doing laundry.

These women represent the many seasons we all go through. The short, short seasons of our lives. It's easy to look ahead or backward and long for the simplicity, quiet or peace that seems to be on the other side. But the truth is that these are merely seasons. They are not meant to last forever. Some are short, some seem long. They all, however, take time and need to be experienced before the next one arrives.

Consider the passage from Ecclesiastes 3 (The New International Version)
1    There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2    a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3    a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6    a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7    a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8    a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
9    What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil -this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

I love that 11th verse: "He has made everything beautiful in its time." It's nice to know we are a work in progress. And that the ultimate result is glorious.

So if you're having a bad day, be encouraged. Tomorrow is another day.
If you're having a really good day, be encouraged. God has many more beautiful days ahead!

In His time.

Smells of the Season

I tried to get away with not making cutout cookies this year.

Tried.

I had plans to make other cookies, but not those. I mean, gosh, they’re so time-consuming. And messy. You roll out the dough onto a flour-covered mat, press, unveil, scoop, repeat. Plus, with counter-space being a rare commodity these days, I justified we’d go without. Instead, I’d fill our cookie trays with other favorites. Even with two busy 19-month olds, I’ve been able to use their sleep time to create three other kinds!

But when I asked my husband which cookies he’d like, those were the only ones he mentioned. So guess what’s in the oven right now?

You know what, though? I’m so glad I did!

Rolling out the dough brought back so many memories of Christmases past. My two sisters and I would roll up our pajama sleeves and sit at the kitchen table where my mom had prepped a great spread of flour, cookie cutters and dough. We’d play with the chilled dough, adding flour like a pro, and prepped our trays, picking out our favorite cookie cutters and puzzling them together so there was little waste. When we finished a tray, we’d proudly parade our masterpiece to the oven and Mom would excitedly lift the oven door open after admiring our work. We’d go back to our station and continue the process, each time becoming better and better at lifting the frail dough without it falling into a million pieces.

As we’d bake, we’d sample our work, laugh, tell stories and talk about how excited we were for Christmas. We peeked into the oven to see if each batch was ready, getting hints from our mom to know when they’re just perfect. We decorated each cookie with painstaking effort (and sometimes, put a few aside to save for ourselves.) It was the only time we could throw flour into our sister’s hair without getting in trouble! Looking back, I know why so many of my friends wanted to come to my house, especially around the holidays. “Maybe your mom would let us make cookies!” Gee, whose friend are you anyway? But those were memories specific to my house. My kitchen. My mom.

So Mom, as I pull my first tray of cutouts out of the oven – with a touch of brown on the bottom, just how they’re supposed to be – this one’s for you. (Well, you and Andy :) Thanks for teaching me how to create the smells and magic of home.

It is going to be a very Merry Christmas.

Perspective in a Photo

And suddenly it's all worth it.

Jack and Ben, 19 months old

Being a (Godly) Boy

One of the reasons parenting is so exhausting is the fact that our little ones are learning. They're experimenting. They're seeing how things work and how they fit in. And in order to learn, they need to hear it, experience and DO it over and over and over and over again.

Because my boys are so active, I treasure the moments where it's quiet. When they're both sitting on my lap and reading a book. Thank God, they enjoy books! We do this every day before naptime and bedtime. One of our favorite books recently is "A Little Boy After God's Own Heart," by Jim & Elizabeth George. They also have one for girls. It was a baby shower gift from a dear friend with two little boys of her own. Andy and I love the emphasis on character traits and the pictures are beautiful (my boys love pointing out the dog, birds and teddy bear on each page!) But the boys seem to especially enjoy the rhyme. The book focuses on the fruits of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These are two of my favorites: 

Patience

"I'm tired of waiting. Speed up! Come  on!"
Are the words of a boy whose patience is gone.
How can a guy wait when he's raring to go?
He asks God for patience and help to go slow.

When you're in a hurry, don't think of yourself.
Instead ask the question, "How can I help?"
Let God give you the patience for the needs of others,

Including your parents, sisters, and brothers.

Gentleness

Loud, rough, and rowdy describes most little boys.

They run, and they jump, and they scatter their toys.

But God's little boy is way different from these-

He's gentle and calm and puts people at ease.

Gentleness seems strange to an active young guy,

Who thinks being gentle shows weakness inside.

But gentleness is part of God's wonderful plan,

As boys use their strength to help where they can.

I want my boys know that it's okay to act like a boy. I want them to know that it's healthy to be active, adventurous and curious. But I also want them to know what it means to be a child of God. God's little boys can practice self-control and restraint as they mature and grow in Him.

Yes, I will probably go insane in the process - hiding my valuables, covering the hardwood floor with protective matts and keeping plenty of soft balls around the house - but I suppose I'll be in good company. Because as my husband teases me, there are some things that girls just can't understand :)

Testing the Limits

This age has got to be the most draining yet.

The boys are 19.5 months old and into eeeevvveeerrryyyttthhhiiinnnggg. And they're testing the limits. And they're experimenting with their abilities. And they're seeing just how much I'll let them get away with. Both of them. Simultaneously.

If Benjamin is going for the computer plug, I'll say, "No Benjamin, don't touch." Jack's head immediately turns - even if he's across the room - and he runs to the plug. Because, of course, he's got to see if the same rule applies to him. This is even MORE annoying when it involves something physical. If Jack is standing on my computer desk chair with the weight of his body pressed against the back, he knows he'll get reprimanded. I mean, that thing can just tip backward at any moment! But the second I say, "Jonathan, sit down please," Ben's little legs carry him as fast as they can to the chair so he can test it too. Ugh. Then I'm manhandling two toddlers off of the computer chair who are both trying to nose-dive onto the floor.

And they're using this against me, too.

If I'm doing something in the kitchen - blocked off and separate from them - they obviously don't like that. So they'll do something bad just because they know it will get my attention. They'll cry for a while. Sob. Real tears and everything, trying to get me to stop what I'm doing and hold them both so they can see what I'm doing. You all know how impossible this is (especially when I've got to be at MOPS in an hour and these cookies need to be put in a container and their juice packaged into their cooler.) You simply cannot hold two toddlers and get much of ANYthing done, so I continue to ignore them. Two more minutes, I tell myself, then they'll have my attention. But when this is taking too long, they take matters into their own hands. They grab something they know not to touch, bite their brother in the arm or begin to climb onto the dining room table.

When I run to discipline them, comfort their brother or get them back to safe grounds, I can't help but notice that little grin on their face as if to say, Well, at least I got your attention.

And don't underestimate them either. They may not be able to say more than 20 words, but they understand SOOOO much more. Tonight at dinner, Jack wanted my water bottle. Now he had been given his own water bottle - a smaller, fatter water bottle more suited to his needs. But he wanted mine. If this was a battle of wills, I. will. win. So I refused, offering him his bottle yet keeping it far enough away for him to swat at it to show his disapproval. I knew what he wanted, but I would not comply. I was determined for him to understand so I tried to identify the different bottles. "Jonathan, this is mommy's water," I said, pointing to my water bottle. "This one is Jonathan's," pointing to his. "You can have Jonathan's water bottle or you're all done. You can't have mommy's." I kept offering it to him with the same results. So I put them both on the table, away from his reach.

A few minutes later, he came to sit on my lap and pointed at my water bottle saying, "peez, peez, peez." I identified each of the bottles again and he still refused to drink his. I thought I might test him to see if and how much he was understanding. "Jack, which one is mommy's water bottle?" He pointed to mine. I looked at Andy - both of us were amazed. "And which one is Jonathan's water bottle?" He pointed to his. I did this a few times and each time, he idenfied the correct bottle. He understood that one was mine and one was his. He eventually gave in and drank from his bottle, but not until he was completely sure I wasn't giving in.

That little stinker.

I suppose this is all developmental. But geez, can it be over yet? Thank God they're only awake 9 hours of the day... I need the other 13 to summon enough energy to do it all again tomorrow!

A Myriad of Facebook Statuses

Perhaps this is just me.

I do know that I am weird. But I write about a 834 Facebook statuses every day. In my mind. All throughout the day. It's like I'm publishing a story in my head. Every single day. And I might publish one of them.

Perhaps this is just me.

Today has been a hectic day. A day that involved not going to our MOPS Christmas party because of the weather and then having my husband having to rescue us to take our boys to the pediatrician for what turned out to be a normal diaper rash. Crazy. Exhausting. And emotional.

Here are a few of the statuses that weren't written that might help describe a little of the drama from our day.

Mindy Sauer would have hoped for another hour in bed today.

Mindy Sauer is sorry we had to miss the MOPS Christmas party this morning. But on the bright side, she's got ten egg salad sandwiches already made for lunch!

Mindy Sauer is wondering when the appeal for these ornaments is going to wear off.

Mindy Sauer can't believe her boys like egg salad!

Mindy Sauer wishes she could take a nap. Perhaps she will. In just two... more... hours...

Mindy Sauer has never been more excited for nap time.

Mindy Sauer probably should call the pediatrician. Jack's rash seems to be getting worse.

Mindy Sauer is hoping Jack's rash is not infected.

Mindy Sauer was not excited about the conversation with the pediatrician. What do you mean you want me to come in? TODAY? In this weather? You've got to be kidding me.

Mindy Sauer is getting things packed up for a trip to the doctor. That means shoveling the driveway, stocking the van with everything we'd need if we got stranded and then waking up the boys for the dreaded trip.

Mindy Sauer is exhausted. Am I too old for naps?

Mindy Sauer is THRILLED! Andy is leaving work to take us to the pediatrician! And he's going to shovel! And he's going to drive! My hero.

Mindy Sauer is really wishing this would have happened another day.

Mindy Sauer is honestly amazed at her boys' taste for egg salad.

Mindy Sauer is on her way! We're going slow, but at least we're moving!

Mindy Sauer can't believe it took us 45 minutes to make a 20 minute commute.

Mindy Sauer is soooo relieved that Jack's rash isn't infected. On our way to buy more Desitin to help the healing!

Mindy Sauer really wishes she could take the rest of the day off.

Mindy Sauer is loving this egg salad!

Mindy Sauer is glad to be home, but wishing Andy didn't have to go back out again.

Mindy Sauer should probably start dinner.

Mindy Sauer is so much more aware of the "uh ohs" she hears when one of her sons is streaking, running loose around the house.

Mindy Sauer wonders when her boys will get sick of her carrying them around on her hip.

Mindy Sauer never realized she gave birth to monkeys. Two monkeys. Climbing, crawling and clawing their way up everything, including up to mommy.

Mindy Sauer is counting down the hours until bedtime.

Mindy Sauer wishes she hadn't sent the rest of that egg salad with Andy. I bet the boys would have cleaned that up!

Mindy Sauer really wishes her husband would have chosen a different night to work late. Of all days.

Mindy Sauer hates having to prepare a separate meal for her boys. Anyone else feel like they could get so much more done if they didn't have to prepare food for everyone everyday?

Mindy Sauer is relieved that Andy's home! Time for baths!

Mindy Sauer is so in love with her husband.

Mindy Sauer is going to blog, prepare tomorrow's lunch, shower and then it's bedtime!

Mindy Sauer should really start wrapping presents. But not tonight. No baking cookies either.

Mindy Sauer wonders why I don't get more sleep when the boys are sleeping more than 11 hours? Isn't there something wrong with this picture?

Mindy Sauer is sore. My arms. My back. My knees. Perhaps I should have started having kids a little sooner. These toddlers are literally wearing me out!

Mindy Sauer is going to bed. G'night!

Now, for those of you that are my Facebook friend, aren't you glad I'm selective in my postings? ;) And thank God for Facebook, the only chance we've got to talk about ourselves in the third person!

Top Ten Signs There's a Toddler in Your House around Christmas

10. The bottom half of your Christmas tree is bare and all of the ornaments are scattered throughout the living room. You found two of them hiding in the Diaper Champ.

9. You made your kids scrambled eggs, toast and strawberries for breakfast. You had Diet Coke.

8. Your tree is shedding and it’s not even real!

7. You wonder if other families have Little People hidden in their Christmas tree branches, too.

6. You walked right by your toddlers throwing their grapes on the floor because you saw it as a solid 5-minute Facebook break.

5. While you normally make ten different kinds of elaborate Christmas cookies, you’re thinking of scaling it down a bit. Perhaps you’ll make a bowl of Jello. But only if you find some time.

4. When someone calls to see what your toddlers want for Christmas, you look at all of the toys spewed through the house as well as the one you just stepped on and respond, “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

3. All morning, you look forward to their naptime so you could get work done. Then when they finally go down and it’s time to work, you’re too exhausted to do anything.

2. You just finish cleaning up from breakfast and begin to look through your Christmas cookie recipes and you realize it’s time to make lunch.

1. You wish there really was a Santa Claus... because he would be the one responsible for buying and wrapping all of the presents!