Our Sleeping Experience Explained

It's been a month. A busy month. I thought it was time to update about how my boys are sleeping.

Long story short: they are sleeping! On. Their. Own.

The first day of sleep training went pretty well. Jack got out about 30 times through the night (mostly at the beginning of the evening) and Ben less than ten. The next night was horrible. We lost track of how many times Ben got out, but it was probably around 80 times, between bedtime and wakeup. Andy said his back was sore from all of the lifting - can you imagine if it were me doing it? (Thanks, babe!) The next night was a little better, about a dozen times. The next night, just a few. After that, it was smooth sailing. Well, mostly. They've had a few hiccups - tests - to see if the same rules still applied. The first 'test' was a week after we had everything established and the most recent 'test' was this afternoon. Every time I put the boys down, I anticipate a fight. And what a blessing, that it's gone so well.

Here are some things I've learned throughout this process:

• My boys actually LIKE to sleep. In their cribs. I can tell when they start to get sleepy and I'm always surprised when they say, "Mommy, crib."
• I had to adjust my entire day's schedule to better accomodate their bodies. We now wake up earlier, take naps earlier and go to bed earlier. I had no idea that my lazy habits were getting in the way of their sleep. Our day now starts at 7am (whereas I used to wish they'd sleep in until 7:30, 8 or 8:30am, then get frustrated when they'd wake up sooner!) and naps end at 3pm. I don't let them sleep as long for naps as I used to either. That means that bedtime must be 8pm and naps by 12:30pm, the latest. We're still fine-tuning things, but we're looking a lot better.
• The boys look at the posters we decorated on their walls with the five sleep rules and they repeat them almost every time they lay down... although they're not the five listed. "Mommy, no dumping (jumping,) no saw-saults (somersaults,) no talking and wait music on." It really is sweet. They definitely understand the concept. Each time they lay down, I set the alarm to wake them to music. In the morning, Andy and I can hear the boys exclain, "Mommy, Daddy, wake up! Music on!" And then the next word out of their mouth is "I get prize?" Sometimes they don't even ask for one, so I don't offer it.
• The boys LOVE the prizes. I had gone to the Dollar Tree and stocked up on tons of party bags with small toys, balls, animals, as well as stickers and pennies. It doesn't matter what it is. As long as it's WRAPPED. That's been the key. At least for my men. They love the mystery of the prize. And I think it's funny that they've actually come to take the smallest prize they can find, not the biggest. I keep their prize box in their room where they can see it, but not reach it. That seems to be very motivating, especially when we didn't earn a prize for not following the rules.
• Another added bonus has come from the freedom of NOT having to buy two of everything just to appease my twins. I started doing that and had a prize box for each boy, just so they wouldn't get doubles. But then I started getting lazy and put their prizes together or I'd buy just one of something small, rather than two. They rarely opened the same prize every time, so I realized they really didn't care. Even if they did happen to open a double of something, they were just as thrilled. I felt like this was a personal breakthrough for me, as a mother of multiples. They love sharing their treasures with their brother, something I hope continues as they get older!
• I also realized that I didn't have to spend a lot of money on the prizes. I wrapped many prizes that contained five pennies. They were thrilled to count their "monies" and put them in their pockets. Only a few of the prizes were a whole dollar. Another favorite was a balloon - which came in a pack of twenty-five for one dollar!
• Andy has asked for how long we should be supplying them with prizes for following the rules. It's been about a month now and when they're following the rules, they get two prizes a day. Each. I'm hoping that they'll continue to lose interest in the prizes and I'll help by making the prizes smaller and less exciting. But my response to him: "How much is a good night's sleep worth to you?" :)

So that's where we are. I'd be lying if I said that this is a perfect system and that we never have a problem. That is soooo not true. But it is so much better than it was. The boys don't fuss when it's time to go to sleep; they ask for it. And they say "Night, Mommy! Love you!" when I put them down rather than pulling at my shirt and screaming. But we still struggle with them playing in their cribs when they should be sleeping or calling me in the room to change their (poopy diaper) just a few minutes after they're down. Many times, these behaviors happen when I put them down too late and they're overtired. Still, we're doing well! And mommy gets to take a nap every day as well. And that's good for Baby, too!

Andy and I have also been enjoying the extra time at night. We're able to talk again. Plan. Make lunches for the next day. Prep dinners. Do the dishes. Watch movies. Eat popcorn. Fold laundry. Work on our taxes. It's given us an area of flexibility and relaxation we lost for a long time. And I wouldn't trade it for the world! Or perhaps I would in less than three months when we bring our newborn home...

As with most things in parenting, our journey is not finished. Even as we continue to change our sleep habits as our boys grow, our next big adventure will be potty training. I just started reading about what our plan of attack might be and will start gathering supplies and changing behaviors within the next few weeks so we can do it within the month.

It's always something, right?

Another Humbling Experience

It's December 10th, definitely time for an update. I'm just feeling grateful that I actually have something new to report!

Today was Day One of Phase Two: Operation Sleep On Their Own. For the past (fill-in-the-blank) months, we have been struggling with the boys' sleeptimes. It started off with the boys discovering their brother/partner in crime just inches from where they slept. They would take f-o-r-e-v-e-r to soothe themselves to sleep, then I'd have to wake them up after they had been sleeping for just a short time. They were obviously still exhausted and the rest of the day was a nightmare.

Then Jack began waking up between 2-4am seeming to have nightmares and being afraid to go back to sleep. We did what we could to soothe him, we altered our nightly routine to be calming and reassuring, put another nightlight in their room and responded to every cry through the night. But that turned into much more comfort than we could handle on a regular basis. Andy would wake up through the night, multiple times - letting his pregnant wife stay warm in bed - in order to comfort Jack and try to coaxe him back to sleep. He eventually took a twin mattress and put it on the floor so he would be more comfortable in waiting it out. Jack just liked to know that daddy was there. And that's even after Andy would lay in the room with them until Jack fell asleep (usually about an hour and a half.) For naptimes, I would also sit in the room with them until they fell asleep and then muster enough energy to get ANYthing done before they woke up crying. This was incredibly draining. For all of us. The boys weren't getting the rest they needed and Andy and I were frustrated to know what we should do to change the bad habits we had acquired.

I sought the advice of a good friend, who also happens to have twin boys (as well as another boy after them.) She recommended the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. In the book, he suggests enforcing sleep rules for toddlers between 2.5 and 3 years old, complete with consequences and rewards. Not only did it make us feel better that we weren't alone in our struggles, but it gave us a solution to work toward. We researched, planned and talked and talked and talked until we were confident that both of us were on the same page. With another baby coming in about four months, we had to get back on track. We didn't want them in our beds with another baby on the way and we certainly didn't want to spend every night in their room. We decided that we would begin our new plan on a weekend, when Andy wouldn't need to worry about working during the day. We were all set to go. I had gotten poster board for the posters and a ton of prizes from the Dollar Store... and then the boys got sick. We would have to wait until they were healthy to start training.

Two weeks later, their colds disapaited and all that's left is a slight cough. We were FINALLY ready!

This morning, I worked on creating Sleep Rules posters with the boys while Andy emptied their room of the recliner and the mattress, two modes of comfort we have relied on. We talked about the rules as I wrote them and I drew corresponding pictures for each. We joked about the difference between quiet and loud, eyes open and closed and they seemed genuinely excited about this new game. I let them color their posters with markers and decorate with stickers, all while making a HUGE deal about our new rules. And they're really simple, too: 1. Stay in bed, 2. Close our eyes, 3. Stay very quiet, 4. Go to sleep, and 5. Stay in bed until you hear the music. The boys clearly understood the concepts. We hung our new posters in our room and eagerly communicated our excitement to Daddy.

We were ready for a battle. Well, ANDY was ready for a battle. He asked that I stay locked in our room during the training so he could do the fighting. What a great friend. The process encourages you to silently put them back in their crib whenever they get out, which is extremely difficult (if not forbidden) for a pregnant mommy of almost six months who's not supposed to lift more than fifteen pounds. I am more than grateful to have married such a wonderful man who is 100% invested in the day-to-day lives of our family.

The nap went better than we had anticipated: Ben got up once, Jack got up four times. They finally fell asleep (after a lot of jumping, goofing around, crying and calling for daddy) after an hour. Victory! The alarm clock in their room was set for 3:30pm, which was set to go off with music. Pure joy. The boys were still pretty sleepy when they each got to choose a prize from the prize box, but we were sure to stretch the praise all night long. Obviously, we would get more of a struggle at night.

Tonight went even smoother than this afternoon. They didn't even jump in their cribs when we put them down. I am, once again, locked in my room and Andy is sitting in the hallway where they can't see him. It's been about 45 minutes and it's STILL quiet. I'm telling you. For a process that has lasted for about three months, this is heaven. I haven't talked to Andy yet, but I'm sure he's ecstatic, too!

Now the real struggle will come tonight, when Jack wakes up between 2-5am and remembers that Daddy isn't sleeping on his floor. I'm sure he'll cry out and expect Daddy to come running, just like he has for the past few months. But tonight, he won't. He'll wait for Jack to get out of the crib, remind him of the rules once, and put him back in the crib. The biggest question will be how many times Andy has to silently return him to his crib before he finally gives in and goes back to sleep. Two times? Twenty five times? One hundred times? One hundred fifty times? We have no idea. But as long as he DOES go back to sleep and wakes up to the music at 7am, he'll receive another prize. Oh, how I pray this goes well!

So, anyway, thanks for walking this journey with me. What a humbling experience this has been. We are no where near the finish line yet - I have a feeling this is a process that will constantly evolve as the boys grow - but I am so grateful for good friends, good advice and prayer.

Now, if you will excuse me, I'd like to go watch a movie with my husband - something we haven't been able to do in a loooooong time!

Feeling Like a Fraud

We hosted a small dinner party last night with Andy's aunt and uncle. We hadn't seem them and two of their three grown children in a while, so it was nice to catch up. They were amazed at how much bigger the boys were and how much they are developing. "You're doing such a great job with those boys," she said. Immediately, a feeling of guilt swept over me like a flood. Oh, if she only knew.

I felt like a kid getting credit for his homework project when he knew his mom did it all (and as a former public school teacher, you can guarantee that I never saw that! ;) Like I was taking credit for something I didn't deserve. A fraud.

The past few weeks have been extremely difficult it in our house. Mostly the naptimes and bedtimes. For whatever reason, Jack is struggling to go down on his own, stay there on his own and come out only when it's time. And for a routine that has worked for us for over a year, this has been extremely frustrating. In an effort to come to a solution, we decided that perhaps it was time to give the boys their real beds. We've heard a lot of stories where this was successful so we prayed it would be the same for us. Having our day begin at 4am because we can't get back to sleep after fighting with Jack for an hour just didn't seem like a positive solution. So we tried to build up the excitement and transferred them to their new beds on Saturday.

They loved them. They were so proud of their new blankets, their new beds and their new room. But later that night, we started to wonder if it was just too many new things at once. After another day, we were almost positive of it. Since our bedrooms are so small, we decided to set up the boys' new room into where we had planned on situating the baby. Not only would it allow us some time to keep their cribs set up in their 'old' room, but the second room only had one window and one doorway, as opposed to the two windows and two doors (including a closet) in the other. The second room gave us more options on how we wanted to set up the beds. Our plan was to use their cribs as a threat; if they got out of their beds, they would have to go back to their cribs.

One problem. Jack wanted to go back into his crib. Huh? This wasn't how it was supposed to happen!

Perhaps the most frustrating part of it all is how well Benjamin seems to have transitioned. I swear, that boy could fall asleep in a tornado. He's slept through Jack's screams, our late-night talks (or should I say ANDY'S late night talks - he's been doing the late night shift for almost two weeks!) as well as the move into a big boy bed. Ben was following the rules, was falling asleep quickly and stayed in bed until I came to get them. Why wasn't Jack? I thought they were identical twins, for crying outloud!

This morning, Andy had his second night of five hours or less and I had no idea what else we were supposed to do. So for naps, I decided to ask the boys if they wanted to sleep in their cribs. They both said yes. Okaaaaaaay. They both went in relatively well and although they wanted me to sit on a chair with them, they both fell asleep within a half-hour. We'll still keep the beds set up, but it appears that I encouraged the switch a little too soon.

Hence, that feeling of guilt. How can I receive praise for what I'm doing when I feel like I'm not doing anything right? Confession: I am a mom and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Can I get an amen?

But here's the truth. I don't have to know absolutely everything. Right? Sometimes we need to struggle through something and make a million and one mistakes in order to find out what the best solution is for our family. Right? Sometimes we'll do well and other time we will fail. Right? So perhaps I should stop being so hard on myself and begin to simply accept where I am and what I'm trying to do. Right?

So, thanks for the compliment. I know I'm probably doing a million things wrong, but those two smiles in there tell me I'm doing at least a few things right. I think ;)

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I have been LOVING the recent language explosion coming from my toddlers! And they talk to eachother just as they would an adult. They took a good nap today, so I think I was in an especially good mood to document some of the cute things they said today :)

The boys were in the backseat of the car this morning, talking to 'eachother.' Amongst the silliness, I heard Ben say, "Nana says, 'oooooOOOOOOoooo," just as she does in her sing-songy voice. I had to laugh. He said it just like she does.

We were driving home from dinner tonight (at a restaurant - yes, mommy was just that exhausted,) and the boys were talking about the moon and the sun. "Sun sleepin'," Jack said. "Moon wakin'," as in the moon was awake. (A few weeks ago, when Ben couldn't see the moon amongst the clouds, he said, "Moon not workin.'") I just love how their little minds work!

Also at dinner, Ben asked for more bread. I could see that he already had a piece on his plate, so I told him that he could have another piece when he finished that one. But he pointed to his brother. "No. Jack, bread." I broke off some bread, gave it to him and watched him hand it to his brother who was ready for another piece. Oh, these boys.

While reading books before bedtime, we came across a picture of bacon and eggs in Jack's Elmo book. I pointed to the bacon and asked him what it was. "Bacon," he said confidently. "Yes," I said, "Do you know who really likes bacon? Daddy." He paused and looked at me and said, "Bacon. On bottom." I think he was confusing the word 'bacon' for 'spankin'!'

Thank God for these moments to help drown out the times that I wonder if I'm doing anything right! Motherhood is a wonderfully humbling profession.

The Half-Way Point

Tomorrow, we will be 20 weeks pregnant. Do you know what that means? That is the half-way mark. Woah.

What is it about the second pregnancy that goes so much faster than the first? Oh. Perhaps it's the chasing of two other toddlers while still trying to maintain order in the house and perhaps a little sanity. Yup, that's probably it.

At this point with the boys, I was on bed-rest. My doctor's note required the middle school to hire a replacement for the remainder of the year and I was wondering what I was going to do with all of my time. But all of that 'spare' time I thought would be spent preparing the nursery was eaten up by doctor's appointments, sonograms and sleep. I surprised myself by how much of the day I slept... and still slept through the night! Well, except for the late-night visits to the kitchen for cereal and to the bathroom.

That was three years ago.

It was my first pregnancy. I had two babies in my belly. I knew they were two boys. No other kids at home. We were living on the second floor of our apartment. I was an eager new mom-to-be, reading up on everything I could get my hands on.

With this pregnancy, I have one baby in my belly (and I will not lie how EXCITED that makes me!) We know she is a girl (can I get a WOOOHOOO!) I have two toddlers at home. We are living on the first floor of my great-aunt's apartment, just six blocks from our old home. I am a very proud mom, but wish that my boys would just give in when mommy wanted a nap. I do get updates on my phone of how big the baby should be, but sometimes I forget that I'm pregnant. Just kidding. I lied about forgetting that I'm pregnant. I feel like I've got a bowling bowl glued to my midsection, already making it uncomfortable to bend down to tie my shoes (and making it absolutely impossible to get on the floor to obtain the boys' lost golf balls under the couch.) I need to sit down a lot.

One baby. A girl. And we're only about 20 more weeks away from meeting her! If the second half goes any where near as fast as the first, she'll be here before I know it!

Never Too Busy

As an incentive to get my boys into their cribs, I'll often praise them. Like crazy. "Jack, you're making me so happy! Look how you got into your crib by yourself! I am sooo happy!"

"Mommy, 'appy!" they echo. My boys love knowing that they're pleasing us. And they're glad to tell us. Trust me. They thrive on it.

Well, with things being a little more complicated lately, I decided to enlist the encouragement of my family members. "Ben, Nana is going to be so happy when she hears that you're sleeping in your crib! Sissa is going to be happy, too!" Then I decided: why not call them?

So that's exactly what I've done. I'll call my mom so they can tell her how they got in their cribs by themselves, how they're going to sleep in their cribs and then get a sticker when they wake up. And they truly eat it up. "Nana, 'appy! Sissa, 'appy!" they exclaim.

This afternoon, I decided to bring my dad into it. At around 1pm, I assumed he'd be home for lunch. He picked up after two rings. "Hi Grandpa!" I said, with the phone on speaker so the boys could hear. "Where'd we get you from?" As the manager during a busy season, I never know exactly where I would be interrupting him.

"I'm just in a meeting. What's up?"

I immediately tried to hurry it along, "Oh, it's not a big deal. We just wanted to tell you that Jack and Ben were in their cribs." I intended to hang up after a little, "Okay, we'll talk to you later," but Dad amused us.

"Jack and Ben are in their cribs? Oh, I'm so happy! Good job, boys!" he said. I'm sure he could see the boys' smiles through the phone. And hear the relief in my voice. He gave us exactly what we were looking for. Even though he was in the middle of something.

After the boys woke up (from their best nap in a week!) I called my dad to apologize for getting him during a meeting. "Oh, it's no problem," he said. "I knew it was probably important if you were calling me. And it was."

Aww. My dad loves me. And at 30 years old, he's never too busy to talk to one of his kids. Thanks, Dad. You may never know how much of a difference you're making in our lives.

So Many Changes

So many changes in so little time.

The past month has been a whirlwind of activity. At least for a pregnant mommy and her two toddlers. We learned that Baby #3 is a girl (can I get an AMEN?) and we've continued in our sleeptime struggles. For a mom who's used to getting a nap everyday, this unexpected change was not a welcome one.

A few months ago, the boys started resisting sleeptime. Especially naps. Not because they didn't need them - they're honestly quite difficult to be around when they don't sleep - but because I wasn't putting them down early enough and I was letting them sleep too long. Alright, hertle cleared. But then a few days ago, things got progressively worse. Jack started waking up at 4am from what we later gathered were nightmares. And he didn't want to go back down. He insisted on being held - only by mommy, mind you - and refused to go in his crib. Well, this was a problem. A huge problem. We tried a TON of different things, but what's seemed to have worked best was having daddy go in to comfort him and then sit against his crib. And that was after we threw out the Winnie the Pooh book that was thought had been scaring him (it was one about Piglet getting over his fear of the dark.)

Oh my word. This all sounds so obvious when I summarize it like I did in that last paragraph. But I assure you, the last few days were some of the most stressful days we've had since the boys were newborns. Andy and I were both exhausted. Irritable. Frustrated. And confused. What was wrong and how could we get things back to normal? I was trying to hold BOTH boys on the couch so they would sleep (which is really uncomfortable when you're pregnant, by the way) and sitting on their floor and holding them to try and coaxe Jack back into the crib. I tried spanking him into submission, but that only seemed to make it worse. We were hurting for a solution.

Well, we're still not where we want to be. Jack is still hesistant to lay down unless we're right there with him. He screams for me to pick him up the whole time we're driving in the car. And the incentives we're offering for staying in his crib only seem to scratch the surface. But I do think we're headed in the right direction. Thank God for my husband's help.

We hadn't been planning on making such a big change, but I think it may be appropriate under the circumstances. We're going to get the boys twin beds and set them up in (what we had been planning on making) the baby's room. I'm still not sure how much of his fear is from shadows - even with the two nightlights that are currently shining in their room - and how much of those shadows could be from their crib. And since they routinely get in and out of their cribs on their own, it seems like they may be ready. So we'll set up two twin beds in the other bedroom. We'll see how they do while still keeping their cribs set up in their original bedroom; we may need to use those cribs as a bargaining chip in case they regularly get out of their beds at the wrong time. Then, after we're feeling good about the transition, we could begin to make the boys' room into the baby's room.

See what I mean? A lot of changes.

The last few days have, once again, humbled me as a parent. As much as we're learning, as much progress as we're making, I still have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. The circumstances around another child's struggle could be completely different from mine. What might have worked for another child might not work for mine. Circumstances, parents, backgrounds and experiences, everything is always so different. I just have to do what I think is best. Over and over again.

I'm also struck by this truth when I look at my toddlers. Twin boys that we believe to be identical. How could they be so similar and yet so different? Ben will sleep through Jack's tirades (unless he knows Mommy is holding Jack on the couch, then he wants to come, too) and is otherwise completely obedient when it comes to bedtime. He hasn't appeared to have nightmares as his brother, even though they experience almost all the same things at the same time. Just goes to show you: everyone. Every single one. Is soooo completely different. I should also point out the fact that a few weeks ago, it was Ben that was giving me a harder time with sleeptimes than Jack. Jack went right down and often yelled directions at his brother for him to do the same. They honestly seem to flip-flop. All the time!!

So as I sit and prepare for Baby #3, I really don't know what to expect. Not only is this a new child, completely different from her older brothers, but she's also a girl. And she's only one. In many ways, this pregnancy feels completely new and I'm going to have to relearn everything all over again. Labor, breastfeeding, caring for a newborn, carrying one newborn, raising a little girl... wow.

Let's just hope I can experience this one with a little more sleep ;)

A Humbling Reminder

Today I went to my OB in order to obtain the results of my nuchal translucency test. And yes, I did have to Google that in order to get the correct spelling.

I've got to admit, I was nervous. This prenatal screening was taken to see if there were any chromosomal abnormalities in the baby, including Down Syndrome or any major congential heart problems.

We're 15 weeks along. I'm feeling a lot better, I'm eating well and have a pretty good amount of energy... well, you know, compared to the first trimester. But with the exception of a few flutters I thought I felt this past week and my growing baby bump, how am I supposed to know if everything is healthy? How am I supposed to know if everything is happening according to the "plan"? How do I know if the baby is getting everything he/she needs? I really don't.

On my way to the doctor, I was thinking about how I might handle the results to this test.

What if?

You know what I'm talking about. It's that sudden realization where you have to conceed the fact that ultimately, you are NOT in control. You have little say in how this little one came to be, grows and matures into the little person God designed them to be. And whether God meant for them to be a child with Down Syndrome or with a heart problem, whether it's a boy, or a girl, you've got to be okay with that.

Well, my OB said that our chances of this baby having Down Syndrome were slim to none and everything looks beautiful. We're looking forward to (hopefully) finding out the sex on November 3rd! I was thrilled. My dreams of Baby Sauer #3 growing into a healthy, gifted and productive man/woman seemed to be coming true. But I still had to catch myself. God is still in control. God has the final say. God knows what we can handle and what we need most.

It was another moment of motherhood where I felt extremely humble. Grateful. Small. God is allowing me to carry this little one for Him. It is His child. He is the Master Designer, the Creator, the Mastermind behind this beautiful being. And my job is to simply trust Him to complete the work He started.

Thank you, God, for entrusting this little one to my care. We have already been so blessed by this new life.

One on One

Another post written by my co-author, my dad. Thanks for never hesitating to spend time with us, Dad.

When our kids were younger, it was rare that Donna and I would be away from home with only one child at a time. However, when we were able to take one at a time, we noticed that the child became more attentive and compliant. Once we discovered how well each child responded, we began to look for opportunities to ask each one to come along with us when we went out.

Don’t get me wrong. These weren’t elaborate trips to the zoo or Chuck E. Cheese’s. These were quick trips to pick up a car at the repair shop, the grocery store or any other routine trip that needed to be made. We spent time talking with them about things that interested them and would often buy a treat for them to enjoy on the way home (usually Anderson’s Custard because that’s what I liked).

We found this to be one way to deal with sibling rivalry as well. When their bickering would get to a fever pitch, we physically separated them; either in different rooms or I would take one in the car somewhere; anywhere. When it got to this point, we were desperate. But, the personal attention usually calmed the storm. Maybe that’s what they needed all along.

Adventures in Sleeping. Or not.

Ooh, the adventures of parenting toddlers. Just when you think you know what you're doing... BAMB... something happens to remind you how little you really know.

Sleeping - or rather, going to sleep - has been our biggest issue lately.

It didn't used to be. Well, you know, after we finally figured out a plan that worked in getting them to finally start sleeping through the night. We had to adjust our plan when the boys were sick, when we had a family getogether, when we transitioned from two naps to just one, but overall, things have been going really really well.

A month ago, however, things changed. It was as if the boys just discovered that their partner in crime was only five feet from their crib and they had a license to entertain them. They'd jump, throw out their blankets, do somersaults, stand on their hand, make crazy noises, scream, yell to each other... it was insane. "What did I do wrong?" I wondered. Perhaps the change came because of our move into the new apartment. But this began more than a month after. Were they sensing me to be too soft? Probably. It was around this same time that we learned we were pregnant and so I had been increasingly exhausted. I just didn't have the energy to follow through on much of anything. I was just trying to maintain status quo!

My husband and I talked relentlessly about what we should do. We tried various tactics, but were only met with short success. Should we just concede defeat? Separate them into two bedrooms and let them cry themselves to sleep? We did have an additional bedroom in our new apartment, but we wanted to make that into the nursery. What should we do? This mommy needed sleep (and my boys were monsters without theirs as well!)

We knew a lot of this was developmental. The boys have been trying to assert their independence in other areas of their life - perhaps this was just an extension of that. So my husband decided to talk to the boys. They're only two and a half, you say, how much would they even understand? True, I wouldn't have thought this technique to be as effective as it turned out to be. But as we were reading books as part of our regular nightly routine, Andy told the boys what was coming next. "We're going to read books, sing some songs, pray, and then we're going to bed. When you're in your crib, there is no jumping." He repeated this same concept a few times during our routine and then again as we were walking them to their cribs. "No jumping," Ben repeated. Hmm, they understood.

That night, the jumping seemed to have stopped. They still would yell each other's name, say, "Mommy, where are yewww?" and make noises, but no more jumping. This seemed to make sense: my boys always have liked to know what was coming. They want to know the expectations (even if they choose not to follow them.) They're not a fan of surprises.

Andy continued doing this same thing for the next few nights until the jumping stopped completely. Then we noticed they were doing a crazy amount of somersaults and standing on their heads. So last night, he added something else to our bedtime routine. "When you go into your cribs, there's..." (Boys interrupted to say, "No jumping.") "Yes, that's right. No jumping. And there are no somersaults."

I've been repeating this same technique at naptime, too, trying to stay consistent. And they've been responding! Today when I put them down, Jack said, "No dumping. No saw-salts. Mommy 'appy!" (Translation: "No jumping. No somersaults. Mommy happy!") Yeah, I'd say they're getting the message.

Last night was wonderful. Tonight was wonderful. Both nights, they layed down without a problem and didn't make any noises. It took us a while to get here, but I'd say progress is happening!!

Throughout the past two and a half years, I've learned that there's nothing more humbling than attempting to raise your own children. No other job in the world reminds you just how much (and how little) control you have over certain things in life. We've had our share of successes and our share of failures, all of which have been humbling. But we're learning. And I believe we're getting better. At least until the next kid comes and reminds us how little we know!

I should also mention that the boys decided against a nap this afternoon. Don't think we're 100% fixed. But I'm going to blame this afternoon on two dirty diapers and a mommy who was more interested in editing and uploading photos than going in to see why they were both still awake. Ya see? Humbling. But still, we're moving in the right direction!