Words of Praise

Children believe everything you say.

If you tell them they're stupid, they'll believe it.

If you tell them they're dumb, they'll believe it.

If you tell them they're slow, they'll believe it.

If you tell them they're irresponsible, they'll believe it.

On the other hand...

If you tell them they're smart, they'll believe it.

If you tell them they're kind, they'll believe it.

If you tell them they're thoughtful, they'll believe it.

If you tell them they're special, they'll believe it.

This applies to babies too. Even minutes out of the womb, I firmly believe that they can sense your spirit as well as the intent of your words. Perhaps that's why they say that children are such good judges of character. Speak words of encouragement. Praise. Thoughtfulness. And someday, you'll get the same in return.

How high are your expectations for your children? They'll only rise as high as you say they can.

Taking Notice

When your husband does something you like, do you tell him?

I hope so!

Yesterday, I noticed that my husband changed the toilet paper roll. It was a new toilet paper roll. He hadn't even used it yet. That meant that he put it up for ME, as I would assuredly be the next person to need it. Isn't that sweet? I really appreciated it. So I told him. (This is where many of us stop. We wouldn't think it was significant enough to mention.) He, of course, shrugged it off and said, "Oh, that's no big deal." Ahh, but it IS! To ME!

I get all excited when Andy comes home and says, "Wow, Mindy, the house looks great!" or "Man, that shelf is so organized now!" It melts my heart to hear him say those things. He noticed. I think he makes a point of noticing every little thing I accomplished that day, just because he knows it means so much to me for him to acknowledge when I'm able to do more than just care for two busy babies!

Ya see? It goes both ways! But... it starts with the wife.

Our husbands would do anything to please us. But first, they need to know what we like. I would encourage you to take the few extra moments to notice what he does do to help you. Even if it's as little as changing the toilet paper roll with the flap pointing down, just how you like it. :) After all, it was done with you in mind.

From their Eyes

Make each moment count.

Your little ones are looking up to you.

Taking it for Granted

Today's world events causes me to think about just how much I take for granted.

My husband. My boys. For our health. For our home. For heat, electricity and cable. For reliable transportation and fresh groceries. For democracy and freedom. For LIFE.

Unfortunately, we only think about them when they are no longer there.

We are a very blessed people.

Prayers to the people and friends of Haiti.

Cycle of Respect

How do you refer to your husband? When he's there, and in front of other people? Would people recognize him as your partner, your employee or your slave?

You don't have to watch television very long before you realize just how demoralized men are portrayed in the media. They are viewed as "dumb" and "simple" creatures, most often put down by their very own spouse! The Simpsons. Everybody Loves Raymond. The King of Queens. Yes, Dear. In each of these shows, the husband is always the butt of the joke and always slow to learn.

Think back to the fifties. (Alright, I wasn't around then, but I've watched the reruns!) Father Knows Best. Ozzie and Harriet. Leave it to Beaver. There is a distinct difference in the attitude of these shows. The father is the head of the house. Authoritative. Compassionate.

I'm not suggesting that we all turn off our televisions and just watch reruns and old movies all day (though that's not necessarily a bad idea.) But there is an awful lot of negative language about our fathers and husbands today and it is having a huge impact on our families. Divorce. Extra marital affairs. Domestic violence. Men are encouraged to be more feminine and 'less male.' After all, that's how we go into this mess, right? No.

A man yearns to be respected. Appreciated. Adored. He needs to feel like he is protecting his family. Providing for them. He wants to be the king of his castle. Not in an oppressive way, but in a loving, protective role that communicates security and safety to those most important to him.

Kids learn how to respect from their parents. How you treat your husband is a pretty good gauge of how he will treat you. And your kids will learn from HIM how a woman should be treated. It's a cycle. If you disrespect your husband, there's a pretty good chance he'll do the same to you... and your kids will be watching.

Hollywood has done a pretty lousy job of communicating just how we should treat men. And therefore, how women should be treated too.

So, next time you ask your husband to do something - or refer to him in front of others - take a moment and think about what kind of message you're sending. Not just to your husband, but to your kids. And believe me, they can read you pretty well. Loud and clear.

Click this article to read more: http://www.americanpopularculture.com/archive/tv/domestic_sitcoms.htm

Motherhood

Motherhood is such a blessing. A gift. A joy.

For the Sake of Progress

My house is trashed at the moment. Well, at least my dining room and living room. Stuff is everywhere. Boxes, toys, clothes, bins... it's a mess. As a recovering perfectionist, that would normally drive me crazy.

But this is a good kind of mess. It's all in the name of progress.

Anyone with kids knows that they are constantly in a state of transition. Bassinet to crib, swing to jumper, infant carrier to carseat, 0-3 months clothes to 9-12 months... babies are constantly moving from one stage to the next! The challenge for us is to keep up with them!

That's what we've been trying to do, especially now that everyone is healthy once again. I moved all our valuables from the bookshelf to bins in the attic, making room for their toys and other things I don't mind them touching and possibly breaking! We took out their infant carriers and replaced them with bulkier, larger (and more inconvenient!) car seats. We said goodbye to their Bumbo seats and hello - again - to their high chairs. Not to mention the Christmas stuff that still needs to be put away! But we're making progress. Still, looking at the state of my house, you could easily get overwhelmed by everything. So. Much. Stuff. Everywhere!

Sometimes, we need to make things messy before they can be clean again.

Organizing is the obvious example. You have to take everything out of a drawer before you can clean the structure, come up with a new system that works for you and then only put back what you want there. It's messy, but worth it.

Forgiveness is much the same way. It's tough. It's messy. It doesn't always look good while you're in progress. But the finished product is something beautiful that everyone can enjoy.

Is there someone you need to offer an apology to? A friend? Your sister? Your husband? Believe me, saying you're sorry is a lot easier said than done. It's confrontational, it's uncomfortable... it's downright messy! But I've been on both sides of the issue. While it can be messy for a little bit, the freedom that comes from it is WELL worth the effort!

Start your new year off right. It's time to clean house, starting from the inside, out.

Hope

I am learning that the best days come after the worst ones.

Thank God, His mercies are new every morning.

Remembering What's Important

It is now January 7th. My Christmas tree is still up. My Christmas decorations are still up. I haven't even put all of our Christmas gifts away. They are all in a pile in our dining room, almost exactly as we left them more than two weeks ago.

The reason? We've been sick. All of us.

The boys started with a runny nose over the holidays, which quickly graduated to a full-blown cold the day after Christmas. I got it just as they began to recover and then (sadly) passed it on to my husband a few days later. We just can't seem to shake this thing!

When we're not feeling well, it is even more important to remember our priorities. For me, that means attempting to put together dinner each night and order out when I'm not feeling up to it. That means holding my little ones when they need to be held and refusing to make progress on my list. That means resting when I have the chance so I am healthy enough to be there for those I love most. That means supporting my husband and trying to keep him well so he can do his job too.

My to-do list is a mile long. I want to un-decorate from Christmas, put the gifts away and get rid of stuff we don't need. I need to clean my refrigerator, file some paperwork from last year, begin this year's taxes and do laundry. I have been able to do some things as I've felt more healthy, but I cannot forget my most important job: taking care of my family.

My house will be messy for a little while longer. Thank God my husband doesn't mind. (He's actually done more to clean than I have!) For now, I have much more important things to do.

New Beginnings

Don't worry. I'm not going to ask you what your New Year's Resolution is. I'm afraid to make one myself.

I could say "lose weight," but I understand that I need to consume an additional 1,000 calories a day to make enough milk for my boys. Plus, I'm enjoying it. So that one's out.

I could say, "exercise more," but let's get real. The only exercise I'm able to do right now is managing two 20-pound babies in my arms at the same time. Moving in different directions. That is a workout, though. Trust me.

I could say, "get organized" but that's something I have to do with two babies in transition all the time! We are now in the "creeper" stage; they're not on all fours, but they are both doing one mean army crawl across the floor. You would now find everything in my house about 2-3 feet higher than normal.

People can easily get stressed out about making (and then keeping) their resolutions. But I'd like to encourage you not to be too hard on yourself. I have a feeling that you're already doing a pretty good job being wife, mother, friend, and daughter as well as all of the other roles you fill on a daily basis.

If you do have a new goal, make it a realistic one. Make a plan that will fit within your (already demanding) schedule and then be flexible when and if things don't go exactly as planned. It may take some time for your new goals to fit into your lifestyle. Even if you make a positive change for just a week, that's one more week than you would have normally had!

I am so grateful for new beginnings. Second chances... and third and fourth chances. This is a good time for us to evaluate where we have come and where we want to be. A time for us to redefine our goals and align ourselves up with our ideal. To refocus. Reconnect. SUCCEED!

And the other piece of good news is the fact that even if we fail miserably, we don't have to wait for next New Year's Day to make a new resolution. The Bible tells us that God's mercies are new EVERY morning. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Here's to a happy and healthy 2010!